Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
