Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My balls are so social today.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
