Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
