69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize