You work out of a Hotel?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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