Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
