I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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