the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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