i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
