AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
