trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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