Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
