At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
