Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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