I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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