There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
