if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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