i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
