if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
