Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
