she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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