Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
