one two three fourrrrnication!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize