Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Porn is love you can see.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
