There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
