I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
