my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
