he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The adults are the big ones right?
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