You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
