don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
