so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
