anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
