its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where is the hickey?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
