I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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