My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
