you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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