just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize