she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
