I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Where did you get a picture of my penis
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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