ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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