***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
