A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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