I think im going to throw up on grandma
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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