I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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