Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
