with your own penis?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
