In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
