Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize