I love black thongs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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