google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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