I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the condom got lost in my hair
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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