it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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