Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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