My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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