you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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