So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
