Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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