he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize