a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
