i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize