She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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