Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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