i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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