my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Walk of Shame today included voting.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
