The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
