I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
