I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Barsexuality is the new black.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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