Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
