It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
