Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize