Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
