He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
