My room smells like vodka and shame
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
