this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We are two peas in an std pod
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They took my balls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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