so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
