My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
