you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
